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Syidah.
Been living for 20years.
Love the guitars.
Passion for music.
Full-time nurse.
Orange is the new black if u ask me.
Deeply in love with Zyrul Fernandez Shahryszal.
=)
email: chaos_syidah@hotmail.com
friendster: http://profiles.friendster.com/chaosya
myspace:http://myspace.com/chaosya
Monday, January 29, 2007
10:02:00 PM
I seriously have enough of this.
Suddenly so many things pop in my head. Its like the things which i had kept quietly at the back of my mind. Those things which i keep saying "Nah..juz dont bother.." Its now coming out and killing me.
Why are girls natural bitches?
Are we borned with such hormones? "Biatchenogenesis"
Okay that i made up.
But seriously. Why cant we settle things face to face. Like talk it out. Rather than saying behind each other's back. Or maybe blogging it. Or tagging hurting words at tagboards. Or juz do the "i-noe-ur-there-but-i-rather-ignore-u" sort of thing?
And if we were to settle face to face. Its either one of us rather shut up. And let the other party seem to be the 'noisy' one. or the 'guilty' one. Or sometimes it might end up with "fuck u bitch!" and walk away WITHOUT things settled. And thus, after the session, we will hate each other more. Cuz none wanna give in. And keep accusing the other at fault.
If thats the case, I would rather juz punch their pretty faces. And i will most definitely feel better. But i'm not strong. I have weaknesses too. I noe i'm not as brave as i may look.
I seriously have the urge to talk to these ppl. Like asking them straight "What's ur problem dude?" Like okay let me list out the ppl whom i wanna talk. I just say it here in my blog ok. Cuz if i were to approach you ppl, I dun think u girls would like it. So i'm stating my say here.
Firstly, To the ex of my good friend. I did not played behind ur back. Easier said, I did not steal him from you. We were really close members even before u came along. And I have never intended for him to break up with u. I've been listening to both of u. And i did told him to try and work it out. But it seems that he didnt take in my words And decided to let u go. I was sad for u too and he told me he would nvr patch up with any of his ex. (Except for one thou) After awhile it was then he came to me and said he liked me. But u guys just broke up. And i noe i'm so gonna be in a spot. Like sial uh we were already close. I even tried not to get closer. But what the hell should i do sia? He was like sticking to me like freaking glue. I thought maybe when things have gone over thn mayb i could consider. Then too bad things got worse b4 it was totally over. And i still dont want to be in a serious relationship with him. Cuz i got a feeling u still feel that i stole him from u. So that's all i gotta say. Believe it or juz hate me.
Secondly, To my dear classmates. What did we do to you till u hate us so bad? Like okay, mayb i had a mistake with one of u. Rumours were around bout u being hypocrite. Plus how the others dont allow us to be in a sub-grp, and how most of u rather not grp wif us, Made us so freaking mad and took the rumours of u as the truth. I dun wanna say things bout u anymore, cuz it looks like ur becoming very religious. But now, seriously, What the hell did we do to ur good friend? We never talked bout her. We never thought that she talked about us. And suddenly she seems like she hate us? Heard that she called us lowdowns or something in her blog. which she changed as i checked out myself. And watsup with the name-calling? Skunk. Oink. Primate. Dear2 its soooo secondary school! And all this while you talk so fluently with us. Joked and laugh. Omg ur the true hypocrite. If its not for the sub-group, I so wanna ask you to ur face "What's up dude?" The thing that i cant help it is that, why u blogged such things bout us when we didnt 'steal' ur condoms and we didnt talked bad bout u! And even if we did, we were planning to give it back. I mean disturbing Naz is fun u noe.. When i got to noe bout the blog, all i did was laugh. But now i think i laugh too much.
Candy your right. We cant trust anyone in our class. Anyone. Cuz you might not noe. The next moment they hate you.
Cuz our class lack humour and fun. They are lame in their own way. Our lame jokes and theirs totally dont click. "Tak gum" as said by Pat.Haha.. And they totally lack patience. Everything must be done quick. Punctuality is the key!
And now she had changed her blog url. Which means we wont noe if she's bitching bout us. Again perhaps. But i dont care anymore. I rather not noe. So i'll just keep talking to you but i wont be a hypocrite too. until you tell me whats the problem, then i'll talk. Cuz i noe you ppl wont want to settle things.
Lastly, This one i seriously do not noe the reason why. You never ever said hello to me. Not even when there wasnt any crisis. I mean your wearing specs. And obviously u see me. When there wasnt any problem, you dont say hi. Which i dun understand why. But i still waved at you if i see you. Now, since u 'didnt see' me, I 'didnt see' you too.
FUCK all this man.
Its worse than in secondary school. You noe u hate each other. And u even noe why u hate each other. It makes hell more lots of sense to avoid each other. And if there were misunderstandings, things will be settled.
Now its all in the game of ignore and putting up a nice fake smile.
